Big Brass Blog is a group blog founded in February of 2005 by Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend and Melissa McEwan of Shakesville (formerly Shakespeare's Sister). The mission of this collaborative effort is to stand as the premiere forum where strong, enduring voices of Progressivism provide what liberal politics has been missing: the unapologetic, unrelenting voice of liberalism in the darkness visited upon our world by Right-wing extremists, their ruinous policies, and their hypocritical beliefs.
Remember the riddle "who's buried in Grant's tomb?" Technically the answer is no one since Ulysses and his wife are entombed, but at least people know where they are. The same can't be said for some of those who are buried at Arlington. Like the atrocious conditions at Walter Reed revealed a few years ago, this is also a national disgrace. Why is it so difficult to treat our soldiers with the respect they deserve? After suffering the ultimate sacrifice how can they be treated so poorly by those who were entrusted to preserve their remains? It used to be an honor to be buried at Arlington, now it's where's Waldo.
Jeff Huber (wish he'd been my CO but the Navy didn't take me seriously when I tried to enlist in 1974) has his usual insightful observations on the fallacy of thinking we can win the debacle in Afghanistan. The original mission was never accomplished and has been lost to the caskets of history, so of course we must continue to involve ourselves in another fruitless and never ending land war in Asia. Is it because the Afghans don't look like the Japanese, Vietnamese or Koreans that people don't realize that Afghanistan is in Asia as are Iraq, Iran and Israel? What the heck are we fighting for?
Regime change in Iraq was discussed before 9/11. Then why didn't the troops have all the equipment they needed? Probably for the same reason that they aren't receiving all the help they need once they are injured or discharged. Because the goal was to topple Saddam and consequences were never considered. Not to the troops, their families, innocent civilians or the stability of the country.
The phrases "there's nothing new under the sun" and "what's old is new again" have been around for a long time...because they're true. In If A Man Answers (1962) Sandra Dee's character trains her new husband (Bobby Darin) to be more attentive by using the techniques from a book on dog training. Today's parents are discovering the Dog Whisperer's techniques also work well on children. Or, as my baby brother said after a few months of training his dog, "I should have had a dog before I had children." As is pointed out in the movie and in this article, it's really the trainer who is being trained. Consistency is the key and my parents excelled at that. If it was no when I was two, it was no when I was eighteen unless it had been due to a height or age requirement. I really miss my dad.
Adopted children should be able to find their biological parents after they are old enough to understand the consequences. For Matthew Roberts those were definitely more than he planned on. It isn't every day that one discovers that their father is one of the most hated murderers on the planet. That's really sad.
Wow! Republicans really are willing to cut off their nose to spite their face. The comments are fascinating. No matter how the NY-23 race turns out the GOP is dissolving from within. I almost feel sorry for the them but it's their own fault. They embraced the wackos last year, they tolerated and encouraged the fringe to express their anger, rage and hatred during the campaign and as with any rabid animal, it's biting the hand that feeds them.
They don't need another job, they need to live within their means. I'm sorry that one can't live comfortably on $93K a year and while I admire the work ethic of getting another job to support your lifestyle instead of doing what the rest of us do which is to cut back or eliminate expenses, taking a minimum wage job that might keep a family on the lower end of the economic spectrum from becoming homeless, is part of why we are in the economic mess we are all suffering through. Those that have always think they deserve more or that they shouldn't have to sacrifice. Marie Antoinette would be so impressed.
The kerfuffle about the Obama boy's club amuses me. I tried warning people that he had little to no respect for women and their opinions, so it doesn't surprise me at all that women are being cockblocked while decisions are being made in circumstances that have no official record.
Somebody has been watching a little too much television. The story never says why the owner had to steal his dog from the pound under the cover of night instead of picking him up during normal business hours. It doesn't sound like the dog's behavior was a problem since the animal society released the dog to a friend of the owner.
Speaking of dogs, is this normal sleeping behavior?
No wonder people have given up looking for work. They did everything they were supposed to, they got more education so they could get ahead and now their resumes are the first ones discarded by employers looking to hire. Because they might leave for a better job when times get better. Like that's going to happen anytime in the near future.
The overwhelming response astonished him. He asked Cheree Seawood, one of his current assistants, to go through the résumés and help pick out several to interview. To make the task easier, he decided they should be even more rigorous in ruling out anyone who appeared even slightly overqualified (emphasis mine).
Newsday is going to put its content behind a paywall, with access limited to people who subscribe to the print edition, pay for local cable, or you can pony up $5 a week, which is $260 a year. If people wouldn't pay $50 a year for the NYTimes a few years ago, very few people are going to find Newsday to be worthy of $260 a year or $5 an article when they accidentally print something interesting.
What drugs are these people on? For eight of the twelve years the Republicans controlled Congress they had a Republican president who claimed he was the Decider and they rammed bills, useless proclamations and tax cuts through to the detriment of the country. And the spineless Democrats not only helped them, sometimes they gave them more than they asked for.
“We need more voices,” said House Minority Whip Eric Cantor of Virginia, one of the party’s up-and-coming leaders. “Our party’s challenge has been that we need to be more inclusive — we need to attract the middle again. ... When one party controls all the levers of power in Washington, they’re going to try and villainize whoever they can on our side. It gives us an opportunity now to try and harness the energy and point it in a positive direction, so that we can attract the middle of the country to the common-sense conservative views that we have been about as a party.”
As the Bible states (Job 4:8 ), those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it, and by pandering to the lowest common denominator the Republicans coddled a section of society which attacks its own instead of working together. 80 percent of voters do not identify with the Republican party or its ideals and unless there are some major changes in attitude those in the middle will run even further away.
Cheney wants Obama to quit "dithering" on sending more troops to Afghanistan. Meanwhile, back in the real world, a majority oppose sending more troops off to die in another useless land war in Asia.
Singing for her supper. Or not.The Performance Royal Society caused itself a little bad publicity by telling a woman who sings while she stocks shelves in a grocery store that she needs a performance license. Meanwhile musicians also don't approve of the government using their songs for torture. Britney Spears and Eminem qualify, but the Bee Gees?
A tax break I can get behind and not only because I have two dogs. Shai Shai saved mom's life many years ago. She didn't do anything special, she gave mom something to believe in and care for after finding the body of a friend of hers. Both my dogs lower my blood pressure and give me high quality love and affection. In addition to reducing the blood pressure of their owners, dogs also require exercise and they enjoy etting it with their owners. This helps owners lose weight because while it may take three weeks for exercise to become a habit for humans, for dogs it's about three days. Cats are great too, I just find it impossible to breathe around them.
Booman, while Obama was a slightly better choice than the McCain/Palin ticket that doesn't make him the best president and when he consistently behaves the way I predicted he would, I reserve the right to point that out. He is Bush lite and that isn't good for the country. I'm happy he got the Nobel and I understand the committee's reasoning, but that doesn't make him the be all and end all. Obama's latest volley at the people who supported him and naively expected he was going to help them instead of himself doesn't surprise me in the least. If he wants us to be sycophants, he has another think coming.
I enjoy Dollhouse. A lot. Yeah you have to think and pay attention, but as much as I enjoy the alphabet shows I occasionally want a little more. I find the supporting players and the premise on Dollhouse to be intensely interesting as well as thought provoking. Watching Enver Gjokaj's portrayal of the character Kiki last week was absolutely brilliant and eminently believable. And Topher? My favorite. As Boyd (Harry Lennix, the guy most likely to portray Obama in a future movie) points out, when Topher has ethical problems you know you're in trouble.
Here's hoping that Christian Slater doesn't become the new Eric Balfour (another one bites the dust, I like him but his track record sucks) of primetime television. I enjoyed My Own Worst Enemy and was sad to see it go, but The Forgotten is a rehash of Cold Case except without the music. Hopefully the characters will develop and the show might get a full season.
Orly, Orly, Orly. You need a good psychiatrist. And medication. Lots of medication. Something heavy duty like lithium to help ground you and bring you back to some semblance of reality.
Saturday night has been pizza night lately and it's been a lot of fun. I make my own sauce, I vary the toppings and mom gobbles it up. It's raining today so I think I'll make some homemade bread to go along with the split pea soup for dinner. I've only made bread once before and I don't have a bread machine so I think I'll start with something easy.
As long as the Republican party continues with it's current teabagging ways, as long as the GOP continues to eliminate or prevent programs that increase the educational and social opportunities of minorities, there will be few minorities who will run for or win political office by identifying themselves as Republicans.
How can you not know that you're fat? When your clothing consist of flowered prints and the size is followed by at least one X, you're fat. If you're walking and stop to look at an item and parts of your body are still moving, you're fat. If you sit in a chair and any part of you spills over the sides, you're fat. The people around you shouldn't determine whether you are overweight or not, common sense and a mirror should be all you need.
Have you seen the McDonald's map? The furthest away you will ever be in the contiguous 48 states is 107 miles. No wonder we're plumping up at an ever increasing rate.
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. "Since Aunt Jemima stuck her tongue right in Mrs. Butterworth's flapjack", priceless, absolutely priceless. Watching you try not to crack up brought back fond memories of Tim Conway and Harvey Korman.
First butter was bad for you, then it was better than margarine with its transfats. Eggs were bad for you, then they weren't. Fish was good for you, now it has too much mercury. Today's new health scare? Showers are bad for you. Next thing you know swallowing saliva over a long period of time will cause cancer. George Carlin always was ahead of his time. Meanwhile, some guy in Texas is serving up Deep-Fried Butter.
Shai Shai and Shadow have me well trained. Oh, they sit when I want them to, come when they are called but I'm under no illusions as to who is really in charge. Those kisses they give me are because they want something. or they're my reward for doing something right. They get fed before I have my tea, they go to the park or I have to put up with a lot of sneezing and shaking of the head, followed by a single authoritative bark if I don't get up from the computer. The Geico eyeballs will blink long before they do. I cook lamb and rice to add to their lamb and rice kibble because they expect demand people food of some sort and I won't feed them table scraps. When fresh vegetables are chopped they hang around waiting for oopsies. And they get them. Shadow is happy with carrots but Shai prefers asparagus and broccoli. Do I need to know the secrets of my dog's mind? Not necessarily but I would like to think I'm not disappointing them.
Government may be one toxic asset, but it pays your salary and ensures you have health care Mr. Paul. I agree that the economic recovery has not included the people, but one shouldn't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Government has its place, I wish we could all agree on what it is.
Eight years into the war in Afghanistan and all we have to show for it is that we are stuck in another land war in Asia. Osama bin Laden hasn't been accounted for, our troops are dying at the highest rates (more have died from March to now than in the first three years) since the war started and the Taliban are freely reimposing harsh penalties on Afghani citizens for participating in democracy. Next thing you know, they'll be talking to a Sicilian.
Eight years in and the military in Afghanistan have very few hi tech hospitals. How can this crap still be happening? I understand about going to war with the army you have, but shouldn't the army have weapons, armor and decent medical care by now? 70 minutes to get to a decent hospital after you've been involved in a roadside bombing doesn't sound very efficient. Or lifesaving.
Science doesn't seem to be a big thing in Texas. If the fire marshal had training instead of strutting around like Fire Marshal Bill, Cameron Todd Willingham might have been exonerated instead of spending the next thirteen years before he was put to death trying to get people to believe he was innocent. Just because he wasn't an angel doesn't mean he was a devil. Further proof that the death penalty process is barbaric and an in your face example of cruel and inhuman treatment. Even more so if you're innocent.
Do you ever think about what you're thinking about? I know I'm strange and I've known for a long time. I'm not autistic but it would be a good bet that my baby brother and I have more than a touch of Asperger's. As a small example I really don't like bright lights or loud noises. During my last year of school I wore sunglasses and a hat (at night) because I couldn't take the fluorescent lights anymore. And the hum was a constant that grated on my nerves. As a child I could spend hours watching the dust motes in the light or follow patterns in the ceiling and I still do. As an adult I catch myself doing long division when I'm not actively paying attention to something else. And now there is an application that will let me expand my mathematics skill, such as it may be. Now if only I could convince myself that washing dishes was a repetitive action that I enjoyed...
Rest in peace Senator Kennedy. Thank you for all you did and I hope that there will be someone who can take up the liberal torch. Not liberal by the conservative standard, but liberal in the truest sense of the word.
It isn't the President who termed it "torture", it was society. And the law. Many years before the Bush administration started using it on people they deemed less than human we had prosecuted and executed people for using those same procedures.
Panetta was reportedly upset over plans by Attorney General Eric Holder to open a criminal investigation of allegations that CIA officers broke the law in carrying out certain interrogation techniques that President Obama has termed "torture."
Oh good grief! No wonder America is becoming dumber by the minute. Name a holiday that isn't about selling or buying. If it isn't sheets, furniture or clothes, it's candy and/or diamonds. While Roman holidays seemed to be about debauchery, American holidays are about money and shopping. December 7th is barely remembered and April 19th quickly became a mote in the dustbin of history so why should September 11th be any different?
As most sane people know, a good majority of Freepers are off their rocker. Well, the Freepers are not only rocking to a different beat, they are rocking on a whole different planet. The "birther" fringe is now preoccupied with whether or not Obama has been circumcised. The General found this so you don't have to.
The only other thing that hit me was that Sinclair said BO was not circumcised. When my son was born in a hospital that was done as a matter of routine without even consulting us. Would the same be for Hawaii? OTOH People born at home or in some other cultures are not circumcised.
Okay, they aren't on another planet, they are occupying a whole different universe. Bizarroland.
I accidentally got bit a few years ago when Shai was playing with another pug. They were between the couch and the coffee table and got under my legs while they were play nipping at each other and Jack caught me in the back of the knee. He didn't break the skin but I had a four inch wide bruise for more than two weeks. And it hurt.
The CDC says adults with two or more dogs at home are five times more likely to get bitten than people with dog-free households.
Please tell me that they didn't spend money to figure that out.
Okay, I'm breaking down and buying myself a pistol. Three of them to be exact, all strategically placed within the house. And unlike the people from the right wing fringe who strut around using their Second Amendment "right" to intimidate people into not using their First Amendment right to free speech to express an opposing viewpoint (Arthur Frommer is trying to decide if he should recommend a travel boycott of Arizona but he personally has canceled all his trips), I'm going to be using mine to try and stop Shadow from barking at everything that happens outside in the parking lot. Of course I will be using water instead of bullets and neither the President nor innocent bystanders can be affected by my actions.
And so it begins. The closing of for profit nursing homes due to budget cuts. 88 elderly people, many who don't have families and all who are on Medi-Cal, are being forced from their nursing facility into whatever dump can be found for them. And the seniors have to hope that their new home doesn't end up closing due to the asinine budget cuts the Governator has determined must be done in his ongoing effort to balance the budget on the backs of the poor and the elderly. While the rest of the country worries about end-of-life counseling nonexistent death panels, these defenseless members of society have become pawns in the California budget power game. Isn't that just great? The generation that lived through the Great Depression and the Second World War get to end their lives in urine scented dormitories with the same sad eyed compatriots. Until they are moved to different facilities that can warehouse them for ten cents less a person.
The 47 million uninsured and the 30 million underinsured in this country don't need and can't use tax credits. When making rent is an issue, when feeding the kids and keeping the lights on consumes your budget then money later on is not going to help. Simply put, what people need is to be able to access medical, dental and eye care when they need them, not when their budget says they can afford to. If you don't have $50 for a doctor's visit you either hope the problem goes away on its own, that you don't have to go to the emergency room or that you learn to live with the issue. None of those are optimal health care options and not only do they directly affect the quality of life, they also affect the quantity of life. Maybe if we were a healthier country we wouldn't be so angry.
I almost feel sorry for him but then I remember I have two Article 15s for disobeying a lawful order and know he had a choice and he took the coward's way out. And now, many more years later than it should have taken, he's sorry about it. Interesting how he served three years under house arrest for the deaths of 500 people and Charles Graner got ten years in Leavenworth for abuse, conspiracy and assault. From a government that condoned torture.
How much more study is needed before the soldiers get the help they need? When ten guys from one unit have been accused of murder, attempted murder, and manslaughter, maybe more study isn't needed and the next step should be admitting there is a problem and doing something to change it for the better.
Almost all those soldiers were kids, too young to buy a beer, when they volunteered for one of the most dangerous jobs in the world. Almost none had serious criminal backgrounds. Many were awarded medals for good conduct.
Obviously the military brass learned nothing from the aftermath of the Vietnam War. What these kids were asked to do time after time against a dehumanized enemy will affect them and everyone around them for the rest of their lives. And with the loyalty that the chickenhawks don't have, these kids will be he recipients of the next "we must be tough on crime" wave and spend the rest of their lives in a physical prison to go along with the prison of their minds.
I've been a Cincinnati Reds fan for most of my life. I started with the Big Red Machine because I had a crush on Johnny Bench and thought that Joe Morgan, Ken Griffey, Tony Perez and Dave Concepcion were the best teammates in the world. And Tom Seaver was pretty darn cute. For the record, I never liked Pete Rose and that had nothing to due with his abilities. It had to do with the sneer he always seemed to have, not very attractive. While I may not like him personally, he was a great ball player and deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Gambling had nothing to do with his skills or performance and he should be recognized for them. Considering the antics of what passes for a star nowadays, maybe it's time for the Hall of Shame to be reviewed.
Cocktails! I'm seeing something from the Star Trek Universe. A sleek black tablet with a touchscreen and the ability to look up information, play music and relay messages sounds like a good start.
As the saying goes, if all you is a hammer, the whole world looks like a nail. One of the problems with letting everyone have guns, is that everyone has guns. Even people with known anger problems. And this has a tendency to end in the deaths of police officers. While I may think that the police have strayed from their mission of "to protect and serve", they don't deserve to die serving a warrant.
Of course he is. Opposing Roberts and Alito was portrayed as partisan and being a bad sport, but opposing Sotomayor is okay because he has concerns about her positions on gun rights and white firefighters who like to sue their employers. Sessions needs a session with mental health care provider.
That is kind of the point, isnt't it? Schwarzenegger is California's version of hurricane Katrina. Get rid of the poor, elderly and disabled by any means necessary, let them die if he has to and California will be the Golden State once again. Completely missing the point that the people who actually do the work, the ones that clean the buildings, pick the fruits and vegetables, serve the food in restaurants or other such "lowly" jobs can no longer afford to live there and that eventually there won't be anyone to give the rich their due.
"It does not look like rich people are leaving California in order to avoid income taxes," Kolko said.
Tax critics often claim the state's high cost of living and tax structure drive high-income earners out.
The study found that the rich — those in the top 20 percent of income earners — leave California at only a slightly higher rate than those who arrive. For those with incomes above $200,0000, the departure rate is only 1.09 households for every one household that arrives, the report said.
Meanwhile, 1.73 households with annual incomes of $22,000 or less depart California each year for every one out-of-state arrival.
And yes, one of the factors in my decision to move to Nevada is that they have no state income tax. I don't mind paying taxes, as long as they are used to benefit the public not just a select few.
The older I get, the less geek cred I have. Along with not having any interest because I think we're in a technological holding pattern at the moment and I'm waiting for something a little more interesting than Twitter.
The problem with Texas having a known creationist in charge of the state Board of Education is that Texas has great influence on textbook printings. Publishers are as cash strapped as any other business and can only afford to print a select number of books. If Texas wants to teach creationism as part of its curriculum then a lot of other states (and children) will be exposed to the same nonsense.
The New York Times is considering charging for access. Again. Good luck with that. All it did the last time was take themselves out of my reading rotation. I don't pay for Wikipedia and the Times version of information sharing isn't much more accurate.
The Quit bull (love that term!) is still babbling. So she chose not to play "their game". What game would that be? The one where you have to cross the finish line in order to collect your reward?
Cankles. They seem to be genetic which means the only time any member of my family will have fat ankles is if we suffer from congestive heart failure (only the right ankle will be swollen) or kidney failure (the left ankle will be swollen). Good looking legs are a family trait. One of the brothers is a long distance runner and the other has to buy pants to fit his thighs which means the waistband is always too large. And while I may be overweight it doesn't show in my legs. The injury (not a sprain, which can be prevented by doing improving your balance) and subsequent foot surgery affected the right calf so it isn't the same size as the left, but it is still muscular. I'm fortunate to have the muscle definition that most women have to wear three inch heels to attain. Unfortunately, my legs are rather short (27" inseam) so as one guy said "you have nice legs, it's a pity they aren't longer". I don't know what his problem was, they reach to the floor. Unless I'm sitting, in which case they dangle about two inches above.
The hip hop guide to neurobiology? Smart kids with way too much time on their hands and a fertile imagination. Let's give it up for Sarah Tonin.
Glee? I finally watched the first episode at the Fox site and really enjoyed it. The music rocked and if it continues in this mode a fun time will be had by all.
The Nun Study on Alzheimer's? I first read about it when I was in school in 1998 and it's back in the news again. Originally it was one guy tracking all the nuns for his doctoral thesis and it has morphed into something more. In addition to language skills predicting your Alzheimer's risk, the original study also showed that incidences of head trauma also increase your dementia risk. But anyone following the lives of football players and boxers could tell you that.
My jackpot money? The lovely Bank of America extended the hold on the money until the fourteenth and been charging me overdraft fees. They have sent me no paperwork to inform me of the hold, but they did send me an email informing me I need to make another deposit to avoid an extended overdraft fee. After days of pleading and abasing myself, they refunded me most of the fees. I'm 30 cents to the good now. I can't afford to pay my bills despite having money in the bank and they are using that same money to generate income for themselves and trying to charge me extra fees while they do it. I asked one of the supervisors I talked to why the hold was so long and she said "you haven't made a deposit that large before" and I said "yes, I have" (insurance payment from totaling the car) and she said "your daily balance doesn't reflect that". Well, excuse me, that's what happens when one doesn't have a well paying job. Why they think I'm going to use them as my bank after this baffles me. Wankers.
On the other hand, one of the checks they honored (after two hours of cell time with Customer Support) was for the purchase of my car. The one I sold a few weeks ago. Returned reeking of stale cigarette smoke. And I had to pay fifty dollars more than I sold it to the woman for, in addition to signing a contract where she supposedly had the right to repossess the car if the check was returned unpaid. I don't think it would have held up in court since I've had the original pink slip the whole time, but I didn't want the hassle and besides, I had money in the bank. All I wanted was my car back. I'll put new tires on her, every maintenance I can think of, get her detailed and she should be good for a few more years. Right after the bank credits my account with the money.
Looks like we left just in time. I didn't vote for Arnold and I most certainly didn't vote to recall Gray Davis because I didn't believe rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic was going to help. I did vote for Prop 13 and believe it is long past time for parts of it to be repealed. Specifically the two thirds majority for tax increases and corporations receiving the same tax break that only the elderly should have. Fifteen people who have roofs over their head, food in their stomachs, taxpayer paid healthcare to go along with their cars, limousines and Hummers have cost the state an additional $7billion with their artificial tantrums and complete disregard for the welfare of their non-corporate constituents.
Now sit back and watch as the quality of life in California plummets: More crime and fewer law enforcement officers; more prisoners in already overflowing penitentiaries; more students crammed in dilapidated classrooms with fewer and lower-paid teachers; more kids thrown out of programs and into the streets; more layoffs and "furloughs"; more poverty without relief; more drug addicts and meth labs in "unincorporated" areas where sheriffs have been laid-off. And don't forget the crumbling infrastructure and the unkempt and unsafe state parks and young people denied the opportunity to go to college and a public health care system on the verge of collapse and a widening class divide between the richest and poorest Californians. Schwarzenegger's "legacy" will be that he tried his best to turn California into a post-apocalyptic Hellscape replicating the dystopian cinematography of one his Sci-Fi movies.
This just in, General Franco Michael Jackson is still dead. I hope Lompoc gets some of the tourist dollars, they would appreciate it and people would discover a town where the air smells of flowers. Oh, and to that paper that I no longer link to, Michael Jackson is not getting weirder in death, the coverage is.
Kick his ass to the curb and don't look back. There is no marriage to work on and it would be better for the kids if they saw that at least one parent had respect for themselves. If it had been a single incident or partner maybe he could be forgiven. But once your husband of twenty years has babbled in public about his soul mate and it isn't you, there is nothing left to save. It's time to move on with your life and find somebody who respects you.
Perhaps if the movie industry had actors instead of stars and good writing instead of explosions every five seconds and it didn't cost $10 for a ticket to a movie where the credits are almost as long as the movie, maybe the industry wouldn't be in such trouble.
We've had a lively potpourri of sex scandals recently, but none can match the transformative power of the Mark Sanford affair. Finally, we have a new euphemism for extramarital relations and an artful one at that: "hiking the Appalachian trail."
The Governor was in Argen-frikin'-tina, baby! Can you say "Big Tentpole?!"
Okay, now we're ready for the Big Reveal! Here it comes! Get ready! Hold onto your ass...
HE WAS HAVING AN AFFAIR!
(sound of crickets)
You're passing? Are you crazy? What's not original? Did I mention Argentina?! Do you know how many Evita jokes we're going to tell!
Okay, wait. I have another idea. A reality show starring Newt Gingrich, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Mark Foley, John Ensign, and Ted Haggard. They're all stuck in the jungle together, eating bugs and wiping their asses with palm leaves. The host is Rush Limbaugh. It's called....
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)